With its unappealing flavors (Roast Pretz or Grilled Curry Pretz anyone?) and nearly-pornographic cover photos (check out Cheese Pretz), Pretz has intrigued me for awhile, but it wasn't until I spotted the new French Toast Pretz that I decided to give the line a try.

With the popularity of all things French here, it's no surprise to see a rise in the number of french-toast-inspired snack products (from 0 to 1, if you're counting). I can only wonder if we'll soon be asking for a small order of "furenchi furai" at the local Makudonarudo instead of "furaido poteto." ...And will it mean the terrorists have won?

In the mean time, French Toast Pretz stands alone on the shelf, perhaps signaling the wave of not-actually-French taste treats to come. Its aroma is overwhelmingly maple. Its flavor and texture are that of a thin, slightly sweet breadstick. If I eat one, I immediately want to munch on another one, but if I stop for minute or two, I have no desire to ever eat them again.

It's the smell that really repels me, probably because the same fake-maple scent fills my local entertainment super-complex (movie theater, bowling alley, karaoke, etc.) thanks to the caramel popcorn the movie theater makes. The reek hovers over everything, as choking as over-applied cologne on a junior high school boy, and settles in my hair and on my clothes for the rest of the night.

One of the four packages of Pretz is gone, but I will probably never eat another. However, I may try bringing them to the movies to see if the two fake-maple odors cancel each other out by some miracle of olfactory science. I'm not holding my breath. Actually I am, but it's only because I don't want to smell French Toast Pretz.

I think it means I've been eating too much candy, this eerily-timed Pretz review....