It's raining, I've been stuck at home all day with severe back pain, my weekly massage was just cancelled* and I'm out of Almond Chocolate Fried. I doesn't get much worse than this.

Until Christian missionaries from Spain and Portugal began arriving in Japan in the 1500s, fried foods were unheard of, as oil was not an ingredient normally used in Japanese cooking. But, happily, this nanban ryōri ("southern barbarian cuisine") was embraced, leading to such delightful inventions as ebi fry, tempura and Almond Chocolate Fried.

Part of me bought this candy for the sheer thrill of purchasing a food so prominently labeled with the word "FRIED." There are no KFC-like euphemisms here; fried foods are called agemono, fried things. No one is pretending these almonds weren't bathed in oil at some point, and I appreciate the honesty. Other selling points were the description ("Big fried almonds coated with rich chocolate, indescribably delicious!") and the promise of a "Fragrant & Tasty" candy. Those are my two favorite features in a food, you know.

A giant almond that has been fried, coated with a crisp sugar shell, then cloaked in a thick layer of milk chocolate tastes a lot like chocolate with a giant hunk of toffee embedded in it. This is a good thing. I believe it was wise of the candy-makers to wrap each piece individually in foil because otherwise it would be too easy to eat the whole package in one sitting. One deliciously fried, one-quarter-of-your-daily-caloric-intake sitting.

* I've been tutoring a Japanese masseuse who wants to practice speaking English so she can work with foreign customers. All I have to do is speak in English to her and I get a free hour-long massage every week. Best. Trade. Ever.