On the way down the hill from the house, I saw Jeff Goldblum walking up the hill. I hate Jeff Goldblum. I'd like to say that for a split second I considered swinging my steering wheel sharply to the right and ridding the world of future movies featuring his pseudo-stutterings, but I did not. Instead, I just made eye contact with him for a brief moment and afterward had the urge to call someone and say, "I just saw Jeff Goldblum! I hate Jeff Goldblum!"

Consider yourself called.